Mailbag

Time to sort through the mailbag! And because I care so deeply for my readers, I am going to take the time to go ahead and answer every single question submitted to Kinderbloggen since the last mailbag. Let's open it up!

"Will Sham-Wow Vince become the new Billy Mays, and if so, how many of his products will be made in Germany?" -- Aaron in Kansas City
No. Billy Mays doesn't believe in his products, but pretends to. There is no way one man can have legitimate faith in so many "As seen on TV!" products. Vince on the other hand, he's sneakier than Billy Mays. He's infiltrating your trust by selling only one product, extolling its virtues... but beware, this snake-oil salesman has pulled the wool over our eyes. Think about it: What is the first word in ShamWow? Vince is making no attempts to actually hide his dissatisfaction with the absorptive capacity of his German-engineered towel.

You might ask, Luke, how is this relevant to my expected child? It's not. Aaron in Kansas City is clearly nuts. Stay off drugs, moms-to-be.


All right, that was the entire bag. Until next time, you stay insane, readers!