I hope all seven of our readers listen very closely to the C-Plus Augustus on this one: Women deserve love. The problem is, the ladies are getting NO love here. As I look at the tally in the poll, it is Boy - 3, Centaur - 4, Girl - 0. Zero. The thought of a cute little baby girl is apparently something so unsettling that the Kinderbloggen audience (again, all seven of you) would be more comfortable predicting that my baby is going to be some half-man, half-horse nightmare fuel organism. Centaur, just a throw-away joke, really, might win the reader vote. At this point, it looks like "girl" is out of the running. Who are you weirdos?
Of course, I am sure that everyone realizes this virtually guarantees that the baby is a girl. If it turns out the readers are right and my baby is a centaur, then I will have to make sure that my child develops an interest in archery. Then I will send him forth to repeatedly inflict damage on my enemies, -2 HP every turn. Since my enemies are now on notice, I should forewarn them to make sure to cast an enchantment to minimize the destructive power that my terribly mutated child will inflict. Having a centaur is going to be so sweet... Great, now you've all gone and got my hopes up.
Considering that the results of this reader poll have made me doubtful of the predictive power of our readers, and the whole "wisdom of the crowd" theory has apparently been proven to be baloney, you may have kissed your chances at more polls good bye. Think of the things that could have been thrown your way, valued reader! Hair color? You would have such options as "Blond(e)," "Brown," or "Red." You would vote "Snakes."
For eye color, your options would be brown, green, or blue. You would choose "a VISOR (Visual Instrument and Sensory Organ Replacement) attached at the temples that would provide him with vision by interfacing directly with his brain." While that would be all fine and dandy, because the device would enable him to "see" much of the electromagnetic spectrum – radio waves, infrared, ultraviolet, the VISOR hasn't been invented yet, once again proving the failure of our audience to correctly predict Futurekid's physical features.
Another type of reader feedback we have is email. As you have probably guessed, we get swamped here with fan mail and questions regarding how we manage to lead rock star-type lives with a baby on the way and both of us in school. The simple answer is that rock stars have good time-management skills and go to bed at reasonable hours every night, including weekends.
However, I know that a "simple answer" won't be sufficient for our committed readers. Therefore, out of appreciation for our fanbase, I'd like to take a moment to respond. Please remember that, although I'd like to, I can't possibly respond to all your mail. I'm calling this semi-regular feature "Ask Kinderbloggen!" Onto the 'bag:
"Hey, so I see you've entered the world of blogs." -- Zack in St. Louis
Yes, but that wasn't really a question.
I hope you enjoyed this installment of "Ask Kinderbloggen!" If you have a question that you would like to have answered in a future installment, email me and put "Mailbag" in the subject line. If you don't have the right subject line, I'm just going to treat it like a real email and write you back.
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