Monday, May 18, 2009
Sunday, May 17, 2009
She's swell
These pictures don't really do justice to the amount of swelling that Ariane's been dealing with for a while now, but I think they're worth posting. Her swelling isn't as bad as some of the women we've seen, but it's been pretty painful for her.
First, her hands have gotten swollen and her fingers hurt.
Her feet are rough. She had to buy a size up in shoes (although we had heard this was normal, I, at least, thought it doubtful). I hoped she'd get normal tennis shoes, but she bought something squeaky. Plus she can't stand for more than a couple of minutes on tile or something hard.
Oh no! There she is, in the woods!
My feet still dwarf hers, though, which makes me...
Oh yeah.
First, her hands have gotten swollen and her fingers hurt.
Her feet are rough. She had to buy a size up in shoes (although we had heard this was normal, I, at least, thought it doubtful). I hoped she'd get normal tennis shoes, but she bought something squeaky. Plus she can't stand for more than a couple of minutes on tile or something hard.
Oh no! There she is, in the woods!
My feet still dwarf hers, though, which makes me...
Oh yeah.
Kindertuben
This week I am going to try to figure out how to use our camcorder. (Is that term antequated already? I feel so old when I try to talk about technology. Also, I'd like to send this letter to the Prussian consulate in Siam by aeromail. Am I too late for the 4:30 autogyro.) Then I'll be launching Kindertuben. I will embed videos here, provided I can embed with the privacy settings I want on YouTube or whatever video sharing site I choose to use (hint: probably YouTube).
I'm done with my manuscripts now, so I can get back to writing here... if only something interesting would happen.
Two weeks to Armageddon.
In unrelated news, the baseball regular season is over :( but Texas won the Big XII (I insist on Roman numerals) regular season title :) It looks like we only made it to 20 games this year, 19 at home, 1 at Waco. Texas will host a regional and (knock on wood) super-regional in all likelihood. When are regionals scheduled for? Last couple days of May/first couple days of June. Needless to say, we will not be making those games.
I'm done with my manuscripts now, so I can get back to writing here... if only something interesting would happen.
Two weeks to Armageddon.
In unrelated news, the baseball regular season is over :( but Texas won the Big XII (I insist on Roman numerals) regular season title :) It looks like we only made it to 20 games this year, 19 at home, 1 at Waco. Texas will host a regional and (knock on wood) super-regional in all likelihood. When are regionals scheduled for? Last couple days of May/first couple days of June. Needless to say, we will not be making those games.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Quick update
Baby clocked in at 6#2 today and we can expect .5#/week until she's born. I am so not ready still.
What does 6 and 1/8 pounds look like? About like this:
What does 6 and 1/8 pounds look like? About like this:
Sunday, May 10, 2009
How to waste your time
Update: Keyboard cat just got awesomer!
Walker Told Keyboard Cat He Has Aids - Watch more Funny Videos
I should have linked Matt Taibbi long ago. One of his multiple outlets is now blogrolled on the right. Here's one of my favorite Taibbi TV appearances, hilarity starting at 25 seconds:
And his prose is better.
Plus, I am also recommending The Trailer Mash, where you can find tons of these that people make.
Jeebus, I wish I were that creative. Also, I love that Brokeback Mountain music. That movie really did kick ass.
Walker Told Keyboard Cat He Has Aids - Watch more Funny Videos
I should have linked Matt Taibbi long ago. One of his multiple outlets is now blogrolled on the right. Here's one of my favorite Taibbi TV appearances, hilarity starting at 25 seconds:
And his prose is better.
[Stanley] Fish was mostly riffing on a recent book written by the windily pompous University of Manchester professor Terry Eagleton, a pudgily superior type, physically resembling a giant runny nose, who seems to have been raised by indulgent aunts who gave him sweets every time he corrected the grammar of other children.
Plus, I am also recommending The Trailer Mash, where you can find tons of these that people make.
Jeebus, I wish I were that creative. Also, I love that Brokeback Mountain music. That movie really did kick ass.
Friday, May 8, 2009
I am... Roy Hobbs
Back in March I discovered that I am just a natural with little baby girls. Bernard Malamud should write a novel about me. I even have photographic proof now, courtesy of my mom.
There's a term for what she's feeling in that picture: unmitigated horror. Can't you just hear her screaming for help? If she only knew that word... Not to mention that this was one of at least two times I made her sob. Thank the FSM that I didn't break her in half.
If you actually click on the picture you can see her hand is blurry because of how quickly she reached away awash in terror. I'm sure she had nightmares about me.
One thing is clear as day: having this baby is going to be a cake walk.*
*May not be accurate
There's a term for what she's feeling in that picture: unmitigated horror. Can't you just hear her screaming for help? If she only knew that word... Not to mention that this was one of at least two times I made her sob. Thank the FSM that I didn't break her in half.
If you actually click on the picture you can see her hand is blurry because of how quickly she reached away awash in terror. I'm sure she had nightmares about me.
One thing is clear as day: having this baby is going to be a cake walk.*
*May not be accurate
Thursday, May 7, 2009
My new most favoritest stupid meme ever of the week
Fail videos just got funnier thanks to Keyboard Cat.
Play him off, Keyboard Cat!
Play her off, Keyboard Cat!
Play her off, Keyboard Cat!
Play him off, Keyboard Cat!
OMG! Glenn Beck + Keyboard cat? MY OWN PERSONAL HEAVEN!
Play him off, Keyboard Cat!
Play him off, Keyboard Cat!
Play her off, Keyboard Cat!
Play her off, Keyboard Cat!
Play him off, Keyboard Cat!
OMG! Glenn Beck + Keyboard cat? MY OWN PERSONAL HEAVEN!
Play him off, Keyboard Cat!
A lull
Where have I been? Busy. My system got effed up, then I effed up one of my pumps, plus I have been working on not one but two manuscripts at the same time. I'm still not getting out of here until I get a certain task completed, though, no matter how much I try to drag my feet on it. Yeesh.
In other news, this weekend is the last weekend of Big XII (I am a stickler for using the Roman numerals) play for Texas. This is major frowny face time. But there is at least a double-header the weekend after that, and maybe I'll treat Ariane and myself to regionals tickets if they're reasonably priced (they will not be, nor will we have time to attend). I am mostly writing this as an excuse to insert a picture of the T candle in which T is now wearing a T mini-helmet. This is like the opposite of dividing by zero.
Plus, this is the strawberry pseudo-cheesecake Ariane baked me for my birthday. Muy delicioso.
In other news, this weekend is the last weekend of Big XII (I am a stickler for using the Roman numerals) play for Texas. This is major frowny face time. But there is at least a double-header the weekend after that, and maybe I'll treat Ariane and myself to regionals tickets if they're reasonably priced (they will not be, nor will we have time to attend). I am mostly writing this as an excuse to insert a picture of the T candle in which T is now wearing a T mini-helmet. This is like the opposite of dividing by zero.
Plus, this is the strawberry pseudo-cheesecake Ariane baked me for my birthday. Muy delicioso.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Will post
I will put a picture of Ariane's belly up tonight. Writing this is my reminder.
Update: Oops.
Update: Oops.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Rabbit's foot
Update (May 3): Add two more wins for baby, now 14-1-1 in baseball, 1-0 on the road. Plus it turns out Mom is a hex upon Baylor, as they gave up 31 runs (against this rather baaaaaaad Texas offense) and committed ten (ten!) errors in the two games we were at. That makes Texas 2-0 against Baylor in Waco on my birthday in games attended by me. Warning: Sample size is not statistically significant.
---
The better you know me, the more you know that I am an anthropomorphic pox on the fortunes of my favorite sports teams. I single-handedly count as -3 points in any game I attend, Vegas would be wise to track my movements. There was a streak from the early nineties until I got to Mizzou that my teams did not win a single game I attended (I am convinced this is true).
Oh, there have been some highlights since 1992. I attended the Mizzou-Iowa State basketball game over winter break in 2000-2001, a 3OT thriller when Clarence "I think I'll just jack another three" Gilbert jacked uncountable threes... and actually made some of them. I was at the first Mizzou football win over Nebraska since (literally) before my birth. That was possibly the best game I have ever attended, and was made even better by the fact that I was able to run onto the field with thousands of other students without being one of the baker's dozen who actually got arrested, like my friend Boner did. Plus, the next day we were able to spot Snots in the background of the picture on the front page of the paper by locating the V pattern in his hair caused by his early male-pattern baldness, which was awesome times a million. And the first college baseball game I ever attended was a Texas win over Oklahoma in which Adrian Alaniz threw a no-hitter (only one I've ever seen) and occurred in the same season that UT won their sixth title.
But good god there have been serious stinkers, more than wins. I remember going to a Blues game for one of Zack's friend's birthdays when we got to sit in a box. Problem was they were playing the Devils back in their neutral zone trap days, and the next day the Post-Dispatch referred to the game as the "most boring Blues game in years." So that was awesome. Every Stanley Cup playoff game I ever attended was almost certainly a loss to the Red Wings, although luckily I didn't attend the hockey game that made me sicker to my stomach than any game in any sport I have ever watched (Game 7, Overtime, Yzerman, Blue line, Casey; you know what I'm talking about). And I am trying to forget the Mizzou Homecoming win over Kansas where supposedly the players ran to the goal posts after the game and began tearing them down and the student section begrudgingly joined in. Kansas!
But all of that is changing for Ol' Luke, and there's only one possible explanation: My baby is such good luck that it overtakes my bad luck. Consider this: from 2004 to mid-2008, my teams* in games attended by me were (as best I can recall) 5-8. Altogether, that's not such a bad record compared to my past, but it's 2-2 in football (two Mizzou losses to Texas, Texas wins vs. Rice [oooooh!] and North Texas [aaaahh!]; obviously we weren't springing for football tix before Ariane enrolled) and a bad 4-6 in baseball.
Since last summer? An astounding 25-4-1, which breaks down as 6-1 in football (Mizzou lost to Texas in Austin for the loss), 3-1 in basketball (Mizzou beat Texas in Austin for one of those wins, plus this includes how Texas somehow beat UCLA in December), 1-0 in women's basketball, 3-1 in softball, and (here's the big one) 12-1-1 in baseball so far this season.
Odds are we won't get football tickets this year. It's too hot/loud/busy/terrible all around to bring a baby. Baseball baby can go to. Everybody else brings their babies. I think Disch-Falk Field may contain the highest number of Baby Bjorns per attendee in the world.
That baseball record has me convinced that she'll be a softball player, probably a pitcher, driving her mother crazy with the windmill motion. All I know is that I need to start gambling on the outright scores.
*Oops, forgot to explain that my teams are Texas in everything unless they are playing Mizzou in football or basketball. There are no other teams because there is no one else to watch down here, unless I finally decide to pony up about $20 to go watch the Austin Toros of the D-League just to heckle Quin Snyder.
---
The better you know me, the more you know that I am an anthropomorphic pox on the fortunes of my favorite sports teams. I single-handedly count as -3 points in any game I attend, Vegas would be wise to track my movements. There was a streak from the early nineties until I got to Mizzou that my teams did not win a single game I attended (I am convinced this is true).
Oh, there have been some highlights since 1992. I attended the Mizzou-Iowa State basketball game over winter break in 2000-2001, a 3OT thriller when Clarence "I think I'll just jack another three" Gilbert jacked uncountable threes... and actually made some of them. I was at the first Mizzou football win over Nebraska since (literally) before my birth. That was possibly the best game I have ever attended, and was made even better by the fact that I was able to run onto the field with thousands of other students without being one of the baker's dozen who actually got arrested, like my friend Boner did. Plus, the next day we were able to spot Snots in the background of the picture on the front page of the paper by locating the V pattern in his hair caused by his early male-pattern baldness, which was awesome times a million. And the first college baseball game I ever attended was a Texas win over Oklahoma in which Adrian Alaniz threw a no-hitter (only one I've ever seen) and occurred in the same season that UT won their sixth title.
But good god there have been serious stinkers, more than wins. I remember going to a Blues game for one of Zack's friend's birthdays when we got to sit in a box. Problem was they were playing the Devils back in their neutral zone trap days, and the next day the Post-Dispatch referred to the game as the "most boring Blues game in years." So that was awesome. Every Stanley Cup playoff game I ever attended was almost certainly a loss to the Red Wings, although luckily I didn't attend the hockey game that made me sicker to my stomach than any game in any sport I have ever watched (Game 7, Overtime, Yzerman, Blue line, Casey; you know what I'm talking about). And I am trying to forget the Mizzou Homecoming win over Kansas where supposedly the players ran to the goal posts after the game and began tearing them down and the student section begrudgingly joined in. Kansas!
But all of that is changing for Ol' Luke, and there's only one possible explanation: My baby is such good luck that it overtakes my bad luck. Consider this: from 2004 to mid-2008, my teams* in games attended by me were (as best I can recall) 5-8. Altogether, that's not such a bad record compared to my past, but it's 2-2 in football (two Mizzou losses to Texas, Texas wins vs. Rice [oooooh!] and North Texas [aaaahh!]; obviously we weren't springing for football tix before Ariane enrolled) and a bad 4-6 in baseball.
Since last summer? An astounding 25-4-1, which breaks down as 6-1 in football (Mizzou lost to Texas in Austin for the loss), 3-1 in basketball (Mizzou beat Texas in Austin for one of those wins, plus this includes how Texas somehow beat UCLA in December), 1-0 in women's basketball, 3-1 in softball, and (here's the big one) 12-1-1 in baseball so far this season.
Odds are we won't get football tickets this year. It's too hot/loud/busy/terrible all around to bring a baby. Baseball baby can go to. Everybody else brings their babies. I think Disch-Falk Field may contain the highest number of Baby Bjorns per attendee in the world.
That baseball record has me convinced that she'll be a softball player, probably a pitcher, driving her mother crazy with the windmill motion. All I know is that I need to start gambling on the outright scores.
*Oops, forgot to explain that my teams are Texas in everything unless they are playing Mizzou in football or basketball. There are no other teams because there is no one else to watch down here, unless I finally decide to pony up about $20 to go watch the Austin Toros of the D-League just to heckle Quin Snyder.
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