Kinderbloggen, Year 1

It's hard to believe I started writing this (garbage) blog a year ago. I know it's cliche, but it seems like it was yesterday. Really. Even harder to grasp is the fact that Lenny is now already almost seven months old. If we were in a more stable situation (i.e. I had a job and Ariane wasn't still in school) it's possible that we could be thinking about kid number 2. It'd still be way to early, and we're not insane, so we aren't, but we could conceivably be doing this.

As it is, we've been lucky. Lenny has been perfectly healthy so far, she's an absolute sweetheart; I mean, 10/10: would have baby again! I'll get to spend probably another couple months here in Austin (at least) before I have to leave for my still-hypothetical job. In its own right, this job pursuit has taken a turn for the comical. Before October, I had never been to Oregon. I had been to Alaska, California, Washington, BC, and Yukon (not technically Pacific, but whatever), but with the next upcoming trip* I will have been to Portland thrice in the span of three months. So fingers crossed for this one. (Actually, really it's two interviews in one, one job in Portland, one in Albany, NY, so we'll see what happens. If I miss out on this one these two, I'll probably just learn to farm and raise goats.) Pros and cons in both locations. That's for another day. At least this company didn't advertise its jobs by talking about how stressful it is and how everybody spends a lot of the time yelling at each other. (Note: this is actually how Intel described themself all day during my 2nd interview with them; they were proud of it. The second group also told me 1/3 of the employees quit in the first year, which I no trouble believing, and former employees have openly thrown around the term "365 day-a-year slave pit that will have no trouble calling you in on Christmas." I still would have liked the offer. Meanwhile, the next company I'm interviewing with shut down for a week at Thanksgiving and is shutting down for 2 over Xmas/New Years. Very nice.)

It's probably time to start baby-proofing the apartment. Won't be too long before Lenny is mobile one way or the other. We're going to remove the coffee table (read: junk accumulator) in the living room so she has a space to play, but we'll have to seal off the kitchen, train ourselves to keep the bathroom door closed, anchor furniture, cover corners, etc. This is one of my top priorities when we get back. The nice thing about being unemployed is that I'll have the opportunity to do whatever needs to be done. I'll get a lot of quality time with Lenny while Ariane is in class. Not sure how we're going to pull it off, exactly, but we'll figure it out. In the meantime, I present Clarence and Leonard.




*So this second opportunity has bubbled up right quick. I interviewed over the phone before Thanksgiving, never got word as to whether they wanted me to fly up despite my inquiring a couple weeks later, then got a call out of the blue a couple nights ago from the same company for a different position. This time, the interviewer said they wanted to move quickly, and at the end of the interview he told me he really liked me and would let me know the next day. So naturally he called me at 1:00 pm the next day and I was still asleep (because I am roughly on the same level as a sack of garbage right now), said he'd like me to fly up to Portland to interview for both job the Portland and Albany jobs (the Albany job doesn't exist yet, so they were going to do it in Portland regardless) on Jan. 8, and asked if I had any requests for the flight. Since I didn't want to be like "Give me a chance to wake up" at 1 pm, I just said (in my most not-just-woken-up voice possible, "No, none"), so they booked the flight for me. I leave on Jan 7 at 3:00 pm Austin time, fly through San Jose with no plane change, then arrive in Portland at 7:15 pm Pacific. Also, this. I'll be lucky to catch any of it. This is decidedly not full of win. In fact, the amount of win contained in this is quite low. Plus I'm going to miss the Mizzou game unless I can watch from Germany. At least that one is at a reasonable hour (9:30 pm Central European Time).

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On a completely unrelated note, since I've been by my lonesome for a while now, I've had the opportunity to investigate some new music. Generally, music isn't my thing (my hobbies are 1) raging at the news and 2) sports), so I'm pretty slow on the uptake - I'm the kind of guy who when I start liking a band hipsters will then accuse them of selling out or being so mainstream... don't worry hipsters, I hate the Dirty Projectors and Animal Collective! But lemme tell you what, I just discovered Mastodon through Crack the Skye, and hoo boy is that band (and specifically that album) awesome. Of course, those pretentious dicks at Pitchfork only give it an 8.0/10.0 (album reviews to 1 decimal point, FTW, Pitchfork!).

My faith in the ability of some people to make metal that is actually good has been restored. Moreover, it's a concept album. I love concept albums, if they're well executed. What's the story? Let's take it from Wikipedia:

"There is a paraplegic and the only way that he can go anywhere is if he astral travels. He goes out of his body, into outer space and a bit like Icarus, he goes too close to the sun, burning off the golden umbilical cord that is attached to his solar plexus. So he is in outer space and he is lost, he gets sucked into a wormhole, he ends up in the spirit realm and he talks to spirits telling them that he is not really dead. So they send him to the Russian cult, they use him in a divination and they find out his problem. They decide they are going to help him. They put his soul inside Rasputin's body. Rasputin goes to usurp the czar and he is murdered. The two souls fly out of Rasputin's body through the crack in the sky(e) and Rasputin is the wise man that is trying to lead the child home to his body because his parents have discovered him by now and think that he is dead. Rasputin needs to get him back into his body before it's too late. But they end up running into the Devil along the way and the Devil tries to steal their souls and bring them down…there are some obstacles along the way."

OMFG that's awesome. And another album of theirs was based on Moby Dick. Jeebus. This is officially in my #3 favorite concept album of all time, behind Red Headed Stranger (#1) and OK Computer (#2), (look, Ma! I've got eclectic taste in music!) and now ahead of The Downward Spiral, which has been hurt by the fact that Trent Reznor no longer owns the most emotional song on the album (and maybe in the entire Nine Inch Nails catalog for that matter, this would be "Hurt," which now forever belongs to Johnny Cash; sometimes someone just comes along and Jimi Hendrixes your "All Along the Watchtower"). I haven't had time to swallow Leviathan or any of their other albums, but I am looking forward to it.

Rabbit's foot

Update (May 3): Add two more wins for baby, now 14-1-1 in baseball, 1-0 on the road. Plus it turns out Mom is a hex upon Baylor, as they gave up 31 runs (against this rather baaaaaaad Texas offense) and committed ten (ten!) errors in the two games we were at. That makes Texas 2-0 against Baylor in Waco on my birthday in games attended by me. Warning: Sample size is not statistically significant.

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The better you know me, the more you know that I am an anthropomorphic pox on the fortunes of my favorite sports teams. I single-handedly count as -3 points in any game I attend, Vegas would be wise to track my movements. There was a streak from the early nineties until I got to Mizzou that my teams did not win a single game I attended (I am convinced this is true).

Oh, there have been some highlights since 1992. I attended the Mizzou-Iowa State basketball game over winter break in 2000-2001, a 3OT thriller when Clarence "I think I'll just jack another three" Gilbert jacked uncountable threes... and actually made some of them. I was at the first Mizzou football win over Nebraska since (literally) before my birth. That was possibly the best game I have ever attended, and was made even better by the fact that I was able to run onto the field with thousands of other students without being one of the baker's dozen who actually got arrested, like my friend Boner did. Plus, the next day we were able to spot Snots in the background of the picture on the front page of the paper by locating the V pattern in his hair caused by his early male-pattern baldness, which was awesome times a million. And the first college baseball game I ever attended was a Texas win over Oklahoma in which Adrian Alaniz threw a no-hitter (only one I've ever seen) and occurred in the same season that UT won their sixth title.

But good god there have been serious stinkers, more than wins. I remember going to a Blues game for one of Zack's friend's birthdays when we got to sit in a box. Problem was they were playing the Devils back in their neutral zone trap days, and the next day the Post-Dispatch referred to the game as the "most boring Blues game in years." So that was awesome. Every Stanley Cup playoff game I ever attended was almost certainly a loss to the Red Wings, although luckily I didn't attend the hockey game that made me sicker to my stomach than any game in any sport I have ever watched (Game 7, Overtime, Yzerman, Blue line, Casey; you know what I'm talking about). And I am trying to forget the Mizzou Homecoming win over Kansas where supposedly the players ran to the goal posts after the game and began tearing them down and the student section begrudgingly joined in. Kansas!

But all of that is changing for Ol' Luke, and there's only one possible explanation: My baby is such good luck that it overtakes my bad luck. Consider this: from 2004 to mid-2008, my teams* in games attended by me were (as best I can recall) 5-8. Altogether, that's not such a bad record compared to my past, but it's 2-2 in football (two Mizzou losses to Texas, Texas wins vs. Rice [oooooh!] and North Texas [aaaahh!]; obviously we weren't springing for football tix before Ariane enrolled) and a bad 4-6 in baseball.

Since last summer? An astounding 25-4-1, which breaks down as 6-1 in football (Mizzou lost to Texas in Austin for the loss), 3-1 in basketball (Mizzou beat Texas in Austin for one of those wins, plus this includes how Texas somehow beat UCLA in December), 1-0 in women's basketball, 3-1 in softball, and (here's the big one) 12-1-1 in baseball so far this season.

Odds are we won't get football tickets this year. It's too hot/loud/busy/terrible all around to bring a baby. Baseball baby can go to. Everybody else brings their babies. I think Disch-Falk Field may contain the highest number of Baby Bjorns per attendee in the world.

That baseball record has me convinced that she'll be a softball player, probably a pitcher, driving her mother crazy with the windmill motion. All I know is that I need to start gambling on the outright scores.

*Oops, forgot to explain that my teams are Texas in everything unless they are playing Mizzou in football or basketball. There are no other teams because there is no one else to watch down here, unless I finally decide to pony up about $20 to go watch the Austin Toros of the D-League just to heckle Quin Snyder.

A Programming Note

I have decided I am going to post as frequently as I feel, considering this is by no means a diary-type blogge. (I think we should adopt this spelling instead of "blog" because it looks fancier, like "shoppe.") So as long as I can come up with stupid jokes and/or until I exhaust every crappy internets meme out there, I will put stuff up here randomly. In other words, I am commandeering my own blogge (see? it's so hip the kids will be spelling that way in no time!) and overrunning it with stuff that entertains me despite the fact that I originally wanted this to be a way to communicate with family and friends as well as being something Futurekid could look back on, assuming the interwebs still exist then. How charitable of me! Watch as I post something stupid that makes me laugh:




I still hope that Ariane posts some in the near future. She's the one that really knows what's going on with this whole "pregnancy" thing, and really the one that people are going to be concerned for. After all, whenever my mom calls, it's always "How is your pregnant wife feeling?" What about me? It takes a lot out of a guy to hear his wife throwing up from the bathroom, sometimes even with the door open. I have to make sacrifices to listen to that. Doesn't she know the Independence Bowl is on!? It's not every day you get to watch Louisiana Tech take on Northern Illinois in Shreveport, Louisiana.

I would recommend that this page be instabookmarked in your browser, or that you subscribe or whatever. You wouldn't want to miss out on any nuggets of wisdom that I'll be dropping like they were babies... I mean dimes (Note to self: do not drop babies). After all, these are the ramblings of a well known author.