Give me stuff!

One of the many reasons for my well chronicled disliking of Christmas is that I hate receiving gifts. Hate. Hate, hate, hate, hate, hate. No, I can't explain it. That wasn't the reason that I didn't enjoy registering for Ariane's baby shower, though. I conveniently uninvited myself/declined a non-existent invitation, so Ariane is in charge of receiving the gifts, and the none to trivial "having to be the center of attention," which I avoid like the plague unless I can get others to laugh at me (or if I am performing incredible feats of strength). The reason I didn't like registering for the shower was that I had no idea what I was doing. In my nearly 27 years, my interaction with babies and related products is nil. I can't think of a thing. I do know that I am not stupid enough to realize that all baby product prices are jacked up insanely.

However, I must say that by far I enjoyed registering at Target more than Babies R Us, partially because I never understood what in the world Babies R Us is supposed to mean, but mostly because Target's scanning device was much easier to play with like it was a ray gun.


I can't be the only one who spent 90% of the time zapping things, pretending they were Zerg or Storm Troopers or something of the like, while my wife was doing the important work of selecting which organic cotton pajamas she prefers or looking for anything that wasn't made in GD China. If you are wondering, yes, I did "fire" too many times (and, yes, I was making "pew pew pew!" sounds and ducking in between aisles, and I think I almost accidentally "shot" an Asian lady) and I drained the batteries before I could get it back to the front desk so I got The Look™ when it ran out. We thought we had lost all the work we had already done, but it was all good. Luke is in control here. Awwwwwwwwww yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh.

Ultimately, we registered for (I think, and hope) most of the stuff we need. Plus, I see someone has already purchased a Baby Bjorn for us, which means someone is being very generous or someone has already pictured me wearing it and enjoys my pending public humiliation. Possibly both. At least I won't have to do make one on my own.