Who are those people? I know that this is some pathetic vicarious grab for something that these women (and a few likely not-being-honest-with-themselves gay fathers), but egad. You know what I want my daughter to do when she is five? Come home with grass stains and mud on her clothes, and deny deny deny any knowledge of how it got there. Things like that. Maybe I'm a weirdo, but I don't plan on placing veneers on her teeth, putting extensions in her hair, smearing an entire Maybelline factory on her face, and forcing her to do some song and dance routine while wearing a sequin-covered cowboy hat. Again, call me crazy, but I just plan on taking her to Sesame Street Live, a task that has already been assigned as my job despite the fact that I know I could be a better Grover than the guy on the stage.
I don't think I could ever enjoy Little Miss Sunshine again, because I'd be convinced that Toni Collette was trying to repair her own childhood failures, Greg Kinnear was a painfully closeted father, and Paul Dano was just biding his time, waiting to ask Abigail Breslin if she would like a Smirnoff Ice and some free candy. Steve Carell's Proust-loving, depressed, suicidal character would seem like a ray of light compared to them. Thanks, TLC. First you bring me the insane Duggars (their son had never even kissed his wife before they were married!) and now this. I swear, you are quickly becoming the next Bravo.
On the plus side, if you're too tired to go out and play with your kids you can send them out during this hour with no supervision and they'll be A-OK, as all the pedos are glued to their couches, possibly while IMing someone from Perverted Justice or Dateline.
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