Ultrasound

Face, hands, and a very small foot (click for larger).

Girls and science

I stated it already, but probably like any parent (to be), I would love it if one day Daughter becomes a scientist, engineer, doctor, or something like that. This is not a case of putting the cart before the horse, because last I checked the cart is still four or so months from delivery. Besides, I'm not going to have some sissy horse pull my cart; I am a wealthy banker from Boston, dammit, not some loser carpenter from Ohio, or worse yet a farmer from Illinois. I will tear out of here at mach five with six oxen pulling my cart. I just hope I don't get dysentery.


Crap.

What was I talking about? Oh, right - SCIENCE!

Maybe you're saying, "But Luke, you are having a GIRL. Everyone knows that GIRLS are not as good at science and maths as BOYS." First, it's "math" not "maths." I don't appreciate when Britons read this, move along now. Second, you're wrong. Here's a look at the issue in depth, but it boils down to "If the girls take the courses that the boys do, there's no real difference between them." Basically, if you tell them they can, they can. After nine years of undergraduate and graduate level studies in chemical engineering, let me say that the last statement sums up my experiences quite accurately, some of the best and smartest students I've worked with were women (plus they were way better organized than I have ever been).

I'll gladly steer Girl towards the sciences. That's where the coolest jobs are (and they're the most interesting). Hey, if I liked My Little Pony, why can't my daughter love Tyrannosaurus Rex?*

Topical edit made before this was published: Premier commenter Not Alice notes in the comments that a.) she was once a little girl and b.) she loved Legos as a child and therefore advises that c.) I should get Girl into Legos at a young age. I think this is a super-fantastic idea that I may not have actually considered for some time, probably because I guess I generally consider Legos to be boy toys, which is kind of stupid if you think about it. Although if you look at the products it's kind of clear that's who they're marketing to. It's probably a great toy to get kids thinking in ways that would promote the kind of thinking that would lead to interest in math and sciences, i.e. how things work. Plus there is this. And here's the best part: Legos are mostly not made in China. I consider this suggestion win of the epic variety.


As an aside, when searching for Lego info I found this website which provides an extensive list of non-Chinese made toys. Remember: trust, but verify. It's a good place to start.

*The correct answer is: Because T. Rex is boring. "Oh, your favorite dinosaur is T. Rex? Let me introduce you to literally everyone else in the world, because they all think T. Rex is cool, too." Everyone knows that the Ankylosaurus was secretly the coolest dinosaur.

Maybe "Lead" is Chinese for "Exercise"

Why does China have to screw everything up? Every. Single. Thing. Seriously, can they do one f'ing thing without cheating? China is like the person who volunteers to be the Monopoly banker, and then nearly three hours into the game you see him making himself incorrect change and the whole game has been tainted and you've wasted a lot of time and why on earth does anyone play Monopoly?

Not only do they pirate intellectual property, not only do they undervalue their currency by pegging it to the dollar, not only do they have virtually no environmental regulation, not only do they do business with Sudan and Iran (not that the western world is much better with Saudi Arabia and the like), not only do they crush dissent and any movement toward individual rights, but the toys with the lead I mean COME ON. It just doesn't stop. This really grinds my gears. At Babies R Us and Target every single toy - every single toy - was made in China.

Dear China,

I'm not going to buy your shitty, lead-laced toys. Please stop sending them.

Sincerely,
Kinderbloggen

P.S. At least try to keep the beef and broccoli free of toxic materials.

And then their state media issues the cry-me-a-river sob story that OH NOES their toy exports only increased 2.5% last year, as opposed to 20.3% the year before. Sorry, I don't think I can type any more with these tears streaming down my face. Thank the FSM that compassionate conservative George W. Bush made big cuts at the CPSC and FDA, in between committing war crimes, of course. I'm sure it won't be long before China deals with this the way China always deals with things that cause them international embarassment.

Now India may permanently ban Chinese toys. India. India. Permanently. Not the U.S. - the wealthiest country in the world, which could do this to protect our kids and create some jobs - but India. I feel like I am taking crazy pills.

And Jesus Christ now there's lead in vitamins? Why not just give my daughter a big piece of lead to eat as her first solid food, and then she can enjoy a nice sundae topped with cadmium and mercury for dessert?

So what can we do? Try as we might, it's going to be tough to find toys made in North America or Europe. We've got some tips from Consumer Reports and a public interest group that uses XRF to do their own testing, but that and home testing kits are more or less it. Guess we'll try to buy local. If not, guess Baby's getting a Bag O' Broken Glass.

The scariest thing I have ever seen

That is scariest picture I have ever seen. Absolutely horrifying. There's pee dribbling down my leg.

Seriously, look at that little pink dress and her little bare feet. How am I ever going to be able to tell something like that "No"?

Terrifying.

Bonus Barely Related Tidbit: Two of the movies that scared the absolute piss out of me were Legend (still scares the living daylights out of me) and, to a much lesser extent, It. It wasn't until last week that I discovered that the bad guy in each of those movies was played by the same person. You guessed it: Tim Curry? Really? Yes, that Tim Curry. I had no idea.

I don't ask for much. Just six movies, please.

If this is what the majority of girls know about Star Wars, the second best movie trilogy ever, then this is going to be harder than I imagined.


How do you make it through life without seeing Star Wars? I shouldn't be surprised, though; the first time Ariane watched it was with me. She was 21. Fortunately, I am pretty sure Ariane liked Star Wars, but she said she has no real interest in watching it again. I am doomed.

On to more serious matters

The mailbag is overflowing with message upon nothing. Let's dip in and see what we find, shall we?

"[W]hat is your take on the
impending transition from Leno to Conan on the tonight show? How much is
Leno's new primetime show going to make my grandparents laugh? Does Jimmy
Fallon stand a chance taking over Conan's spot? And will Carson Daly
finally disappear in the transition from analog to digital TV?" -- Christian in Chicago

Impending? I thought that was years off. As far as I am concerned, however, this is full of win. Leno is fail, Conan used to write for and produce the Simpsons (back when it was the Most. TV show. Evar.) Leno won't even make your grandparents laugh. He's actually too edgy for them. Why would Jimmy Fallon get Conan's gig? Is Carson Daly still on TV? I suspect I don't stay up late enough to answer those questions.

And there you have it: the least informative mailbag ever. You now know my limitations on issues of pop culture. Don't dare ever ask a question about a song that you heard on the radio, it would be embarrassing for both of us when I would have no idea who you were talking about. I'd say radio makes me feel older than anything else. Partially because they play Nirvana on classic rock stations (Nirvana for chrissakes! Kurt Cobain's body is still warm!), partially because a wise man once told me, "You don't become old when you don't know the name of the person singing on the radio, you become old when you don't care that you don't know the name of the person singing on the radio," and I do not at all care.



Update (10:37 PM 24 Jan): I would like to add that I just learned who Lil Wayne was like three months ago, and I constantly get his songs mixed up with TI, who I just learned about like four months ago.

What you are actually clammoring for

I give you the original intent of this blogge (click for full size).

Our purchases this week:




And Ariane's rapidly growing belly:



Is it getting real yet?

Where's Ariane

I am retiring the "Luke" tag as of this moment. My original intent was to tag each post as either by me or Ariane, but she hasn't posted one thing yet. Can you believe it? I mean, when I started this and I told her I think it would be fun for each of us to post, she was totally into it, excited even. I remember specifically that her response was "Um, OK whatever." Where has that enthusiasm gone?

Considering the time she is saving from not posting, allow me to be the first to suggest that we fill that time up for her by getting a dog. Problem solved, I'll take my commission now, please.

Shameless self-congratulatory post

Four and a half years in and manuscript number two has been accepted for publication. It's only a letter, not a full article, but it will be published in Electrochemical and Solid-State Letters. By my count, I need to publish two more full articles to graduate. I'll be out of here by the end of August.

So much pink

Going out and shopping for a baby girl immediately after finding out that you are having a baby girl is inadvisable. I could have used a little bit of time to process what had just happened and how different everything was going to be (I'm talking for me personally here). All of a sudden, gone are my days of rock star-esque partying. (You can laugh at that comment, it was a joke.) Here come my days spent shopping for things like this:


That is a real jolt to the system. It's weirder when you juxtapose the sight of me standing there holding these little things, blank look on my face, trying to digest what the next twenty years are going to be like, against that of Ariane happily sorting through racks upon racks of oh-so-tiny and ♥CUTE♥* things.

I put myself still about a day away from getting used to this idea, but nowhere near getting over the nervousness that I feel when trying to mentally play out every possible scenario from now until 2034. What's nice is that I find it reasonable to assume that a daughter is far less likely to break as many laws as I have broken or do as many stupid things as I have done. I'll count that one as a major plus, and one that is helping take a little bit of the edge off of these thought experiments. But if you see me in mid to late June, don't sneak up on me. I'll be likely to jump through the roof.

It's a shame, though. I guess all rock stars have to grow up, chill out, and lose their edge.**


*not my description
**if you need the tune